WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: by phone

So... I had tickets for me and my guy of the moment to see Rickie Lee Jones (my favorite EVER) 5 months in to the "thing", two months into the getting naked part, 2 days from the show... At the end of a normal phone conversation..
HIM: "Oh.... right... About Rickie Lee Jones... I'm not going"
ME: "Huh? Okay..."
HIM: "I met a girl, and we are going to try it, I have been projecting all of my hopes and dreams onto her! But I would have loved to have seen Rickie Lee..."
ME (in my head): Wow, so does that mean your hard on is no longer my hard on?"
ME: "Right on well I am glad you are finding something that makes you happy... And now when you Hear Rickie Lee you'll remember Just how cool I am.. Have a good one."(coz I am always cool when it's over. I'm always the graceful one on the way out)
Him: "Well no, that is not how we are going to end, you are too incredible not to have in my life..... Blah blah blah bloo blippity plippity blooooooooo.."

I had never been officially dumped, but after the shock wore off... I realized, there is always a first for everything..

WHEN: September 2003       METHOD: in person

Three days after my grandfather died, three days before our one year anniversary, and ONE WEEK before my 16th birthday my then botfriend said that I had to many guy friends and to much dram in my life, and he wanted no part in it so he broke up with me. Then on my birthday he came with my bestfriend and brought his new girlfriend!

WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: by phone

Ok, well I knew this girl for a long time but not directly. She went out with my friend way back. So I got out with her a few years ago and we go out for over 2 years. She goes away to college, things get rocky cause I am home. So, I wanted to come up for Valentines Day and she told me no, and on the 16th she broke up with me over the phone. Its 2004 and this dumb ass pussy has not found a girl since. Isn't life beautiful? Ha

WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: in person

Late at night. In the middle of a conversation about something else. While we were getting ready to have sex. There was no sex. Only dumping. Oh, you want a reason? You'll have to ask him, kids. I didn't understand a word of it.

WHEN: October 2003       METHOD: by phone

I got a phone message on holloween from my ex which i accidentially deleted half way through. my answering machien sucks so all i heard it "we have to talk about that". I guess she did bad on 2 univeristy tests and decided that its my fault she didnt study more or something

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: in person

We were dating for 2 years. On and off again... But he always, doesn't quite know what he wants. Well this was one of those times. He showed up at my work to say goodbye, he was leaving the area for a while. While he was at my work he decided to break up with me. FUCK! I had to work the whole rest of the day with that hanging over my head.

WHEN: October 2003       METHOD: in person

yeah, it's me again. 2x. i rock. instead of coming over to cuddle as i thought she was on saturday, she came over to break my heart. said she wanted to be alone, our relationship was too intense, she was feeling depressed and lost and wanted to sort stuff out in her head. alone time! whatevah!

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: by phone message

my boyfriend dumped me on my sisters anwswering machine. he told me that he loved my brother and didnt want to be with me.. I tried calling him back 20 times and left messages but he never called back. I guess he moved away

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: by email

I'd known this girl for at least 6 years, and we'd dated on and off. I went to sea with the Marines, in support of enduring freedom, and she finally convinced me to commit to her, even after a lousy break up years before. She promised she'd wait around, no matter how long I was gone. So things were as good as could be, I remained faithful at sea, and finally the time came to enter Iraq. I was still on the ship the night of the decleration, sitting in the persian gulf, and I saved her email for last, as everyone was scared. The first line read: we need to be friends again, I can't deal with the stress in you being gone. WTF? SHE couldn't deal with the stress? So I called her and told her it was jacked up, but I didn't care, I had greater concernes. She went on to think that meant we were fine as friends, and wrote me in her french influenced ways telling me how everything I did over there was wrong. But SHE couldn't handle the stress. What's a promise good for anymore? I won't go on with the rest of the email, it's been selectively lost in my memory, but it got worse. What kind of a way is that to treat a guy about to get shot at?

WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: by phone

Why make a short story boring? I'm a pussy. Nuff said.

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: other

After a nice vacation, I was told that it's best if we break up to see what else is out there. So what, if you don't find anything will you have to settle for me??

WHEN: September 2003       METHOD: in person

Where to begin... Well I have been dating this guy for a year and he has two kids and I have two kids and they are all about the same age. We started living together and after a few months he started acting different..I did everything with all the kids all the time. I work a full time job and after I would get off I would get all the kids to practices and what not. I would clean house and cook and do everything. Then it got to the point he would not get home from work until 8:30-9:00pm and he would already had something to eat.. Then it got to the point that we were not even talking and then I started sleeping on the couch and he came home one day and said that he just didn't know what he wanted anymore.. That he felt like he was second guessing his self... I can tell you what he wanted.. A babysitter not a girlfriend so he took the simple way out. And yes i got kicked to the curb.. And I'm very pissed right now with men and all the bull they dish out.. I'm 33 and I know what I want.. I'm a really good person and I told him he would never find anyone like me ever.. But that's his loss..

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: other

she left for the weekend to her home town and when she came back she and i couldn't even talk. i knew it was going to happen. i felt it. so then came the day when it happened. it was the most shameful & hurtful way to say "sorry but ya know i can't do this any more" i was shaken for months. i still am. i thought i deserved better but that situation just made me aware that she never thought of our "relationship" more than just comfort. what does an i love you mean to any one any more? they are not just words. pat me on my back and send me packing. it was good and fun while it lasted. too bad i was ill prepared.

WHEN: September 2003       METHOD: by email

When we started dating, she said that she's polyamorous, and that's the way it had to be. I was fine with that. Before long, though, she was telling me that she could see herself being with only one person. Then she met him.

WHEN: September 2003       METHOD: by phone

by phone is becoming very popular for me. this time i got "i didnt call for a few days because if i talk t you every day i will fall in love with you and i cant be in love right now" GAY!

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: by email

Alright, a brief description of how it started. We met over the internet, barf yes, but it was cool, I was housesitting in a fancy neighbourhood and he lived down the street from me. I asked him if he wanted to walk the dog with me one friday night and he said sure. From that moment on we were together everyday for the next 7 days. He slept over, we made out alot, we ate sushi, we stole his dads BMW to go for late night drives, we drank alot, he liked AC/DC and he was fucken hot. So Saturday comes and I have to go back to my house, and I don't call him to give him my home phone number. Sunday rolls around, we haven't talked, I check my email, there's an email from him. He wrote in it that Friday night he moved back to Vancouver which is 1160 miles away from me. I guess he wasn't planning on telling me until he was already there. Boys boys boys. oh well, I cried too, so I guess I'm a sucker.

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: by phone message

This kid was so damn adorable that I couldn't resist even though he went to NYU film school, didn't hate prez Bush, and once called me an "adult" though at nearly 4 years his senior, I certainly am. We spent these intense, blissful moments together, making out like teenagers in alphabet city dives, every park below 14th St., the subway platform. A few days into knwoing him, he asks me to be his "girlfriend" and I laugh, but accept knowing some disaster was inevitabley impending. Fairly quickly, he pulled what I call "freak show" and he blew me off one weekend. Then his name pops up on my cell and in my pissed off state, I let it go to voicemail. Then I get it (for the first time might I add): The voicemail dumpage. His message is filled with some gems like, "I'm really sorry I didn't call you back." "I'm just so confused and I know I am fucking everything up." "I still want to get coffee and hang out sometime." "Call me back so we can talk about things." And the highlight: "I am not over my ex-girlfriend." To add insult to injury, he moved one block away from me a week later. Then a month later, he tries to add me to his friendster list, so I approve it, even though we are so not friends, and then one day I glance at my friends list only to realize that he removed me! Maybe it's cause I threatened to leave a testimonial about him dumping me on my voicemail. So I guess got dumped on friendster too.

WHEN: July 2003       METHOD: other

I had been seeing this local DJ for about a month or so, going to dinners, hanging out at his place making music, etc. Quite the charmer this one - but remember ladies NEVER date a DJ. Have we not learned?? When we were at his gigs or out his frantic wandering eye always seemed to lay open all the other fine ladies here in Hawaii (most of them just fine to look at and not much else). Should have thrown in the towel then but hung on for more. Had great sex and all that...and then the "busy weekend". SO busy that he promised to take me to dinner that following Tuesday and I never heard from him again. Did not even return my call. I guess I did't have a chance to get dumped. Have not seen or spoken to him since then! LOSER.

WHEN: July 2003       METHOD: other

So new fella moves here from Colorado. Introduced to me by my cousin. You know, he's new to the City could you show him around kind of thing. We start dating. Spend an inordinate amount of time around one another and on the phone (3 hour phone conversations. I don't speak to my cat let alone my best friend or a GUY for that long on the phone EVER). He comes over to my house for dinner one night, stays late, calls me the next night and proceeds to read poetry over the phone to me. Then, about a week later, the phone calls stopped. That was two months ago and I haven't heard a peep from him. Turns out he normally dates 20 year olds who are in awe of him. Talk about your weak egos. Whatever...next!

WHEN: June 2003       METHOD: in person

I was throwing these wicked parties at this amazing loft I used to live in. This guy I'd been seeing for a couple of months came, spent the whole night enjoying the party, chatting up my friends, trying to score drugs, basically being so embarrasing I found myself making excuses for him such as, "he's REALLY drunk..." He also asked me if he could "invite like 17 people over?" (No-- all my hot friends weren't enough??) Then, at the very end of the party, as I am showing him & his friends to the door, he says, in front of his friends, "hey...I think if we keep sleeping together that things might get complicated...I mean, I like you, but I also like OTHER PEOPLE." I of course showed him my prized middle finger and didn't take any of his frantic calls which began several weeks later when he'd realized just what he'd done....

WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: in person

I only have open relationships, and I was in a 6 month one with a really, really hot, stable niceguy who wanted a monogamous girlfriend but wouldn't tell me that. Instead he started dating a mutual friend and I was psyched for him, because I thought it meant he was grasping the lifestyle and that we could all hang out and snog or whatever. She adored him and was good to him, so I was as supportive as I could be, only asking that he chill for a few weeks while he and I regained our footing from some difficult times we had gotten through; he agreed. The girl told me that she valued my friendship and was most interested in preserving the bonds she had formed with he and I as Friends above all else. I believed her because I liked her, and she had treated me with a good deal of respect so far. Needless to say, after covering up how serious things had gotten between them, he dumped me, at Au Bon Frickin Pain, to be in an exclusive relationship with her. I continue to feel heart-wrenchingly betrayed by them both. Did I mention he and I work together and I have to see him every day?

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: by phone

We went out for 3 months. I was really into him -- he was luke warm all the way. I told him that I only wanted to date him. He said "I don't know. I haven't decided." We were supposed to meet to talk it over. He calls and says he feels funny about coming over. He says "you want a relationship, but I really don't. I wish I could give you what you want." (please) I said, "well, I guess I can't see you anymore." Basically, he forced me to dump him (which, in my opinion, makes it so that I feel most of the dumping pain). I feel like hell.

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: in person

So it happened in a bar. It had been only a few months but things were goin so well that I didn't see it coming. We'll call him "Dateguy". The night before my first date with him, one of my friends (in a relationship) confessed that she had the hots for Dateguy and was not okay with me seeing him. Tough shit ! She was living with a guy for over a year.. and she wanted my piece of cake too. ANYWAY...she kept bothering me and bothering me to the point where I couldn't stand her anymore, and I told Dateguy that she was a loon. Being friends with her, he denied her infatuation and became really weirded out by my confrontation about it... I saw him a few more times after that. We went to get a few drinks at a local bar and he waited till I had a few too many before he had the balls enough to tell me. I believe he phrased it - "You're one of the coolest people I've met in a long time.. but I'm not in a good place in my life to start something.. I could really see us together.. but not at this place in time... bla bla bla". Which was pretty much the whole "It's not you, it's me" bullshit routines. And me, the happy drunk says, "Can we still kiss?" and he says, "You can kiss me on the cheek". Asshole.

WHEN: June 2003       METHOD: in person

Together 3.5 years; living together for 2. She said "put up" -- with a ring and a kid -- or "shut up". I shut up and got a boot in my ass. Kept the dog, though...

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: in person

I deserved it.

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: by email

Got a dumpedster e-mail out of the blue. And I'd been so sure that he was pressuring me to get more serious. Serves me right, I guess. He claimed that personal problems were making it "a bad time to be in a relationship."

WHEN: July 2003       METHOD: in person

So we had been fighting for months off and on. He was changing and it was driving me nutz. We had gotten in a big fight the beginning of the week so I stayed at a friend's house. The next day I stayed at home and in the morning I asked if he wanted to talk it out and he said yes. So he calls me at work and says he wants to meet during my work lunch break and I agree. Then an hour before we were going to meet, a project was given to me to complete ASAP and I started to call and cancel and while on the phone I find out the project can wait and so I don't. Well we meet at one of my favorite restaurants and it's awkward and neither of us says much. Then we order our food and I was hungry so I ordered an appetizer also. Then he asks me how I was feeling and I tell him the truth about my feelings and that I'm not sure if this will work. (But I had no intentions on ending it) Then he begins this prepared speech about how he doesn't think things are going to work out but he still wanted to be friends, etc. And I sit there for the rest of the restaurant in a state of shock. Then the anger kicked in. You let me order all this food knowing dam well I would not be able to eat after the final end of our 4 1/2 year relationship. But guess what I saved the best for the end, he didn't even have enough money to pay for the meal. I had to cover the difference. NICE!!!

WHEN: July 2003       METHOD: in person

He and I were just really crazy; one day we went on a date, got to talking, didn't pay any attention to boundries and ended up spontaneously breaking up for no good reason. I think it was mostly my intense hangover; I more or less coaxed it out of him. After the breakup, we took a walk, watched some drunk chick bail on the pavement and had a good laugh, then went our separate ways. We're still friends.

WHEN: May 2003       METHOD: in person

Got dumped on a bench in Battery Park while James Brown sang "I Feel Good" 500 yards away on the free stage. I was ready to end it, because we really didn't have anything to talk about and also because I think he's gay and in deep denial, but he beat me to the punch. He wasn't comfortable "in the boyfriend role". Then he asked me what I was doing that weekend so we could hang out as friends. All of the awkward, uncomfortable-silence-ridden small talk and none of the sex? Fuck that. We haven't voluntarily hung out since, though he calls every couple of weeks.

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: other

We were engaged. Had an argument during which he said "i don't care for you anymore" and hung up on me. Didn't hear from him for days. He went to meet another girl.. called him 2 days later he says "why are you calling? we're broken up."

WHEN: July 2003       METHOD: by phone

i basically got to dump myself over the phone because he couldnt even say it. hurray for rockstars!

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: in person

I had known this one girl for several years before anything happened. Apparently she thought she was "throwing herself" at me awhile back, but I really had no idea. Anyway, I ran into her on New Year's Eve and we (finally) kissed at midnight. A modest beginning, but things appeared to be happening and we made plans to hang out next time I was in town. We went on just one date, which seemed fine though she was a bit quiet. The day before I left I went over to her place, where we made out a little before she was to drive me to the train station. It was on the way to drop me off when she said I wasn't very cool and she wasn't as attracted to me as she used to be. Said I needed to smoke more cigarettes.

WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: in person

It was a rainy Saturday night and I just found out a good friend died. She decided it was a good time to tell me that we should break up since things weren't going well since she moved in in January. It was 5 days after my 25th birthday (a crappy birthday because she spent the entire night at my party with my friend she liked and they were both drunk and cuddly). She tried to get with her a few weeks after we broke up. The kicker: we still live together to save $$ on rent. New York Sucks. At least we have 3 bedrooms and another roommate.

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: in person

My boyfriend and I lived with one another for roughly 4 years. One day I was getting ready for work and he declared that he wasn't attracted to me any longer because I wasn't the "young, inmature 19 yearold" that I was when we first started dating. No, shit 4 years had passed!

WHEN: August 2003       METHOD: in a letter

A new guy moves into my building, I'll call him Big B. He's older and in most respects completely incompatible with me, yet I am stangely drawn to his bulging arms. Anyway, we start running into each other often and talking. Finally he asks me to have drinks with him. We meet at our local bar and he proceeds to talk to every other woman there, including one I'll call Dirty P. They go out to his truck and make out infront of everyone standing outside having a smoke, including me. Then they leave together. This pisses me off, so in a crazed state I scrawl "JERK" in the dirt on his truck. A few days later he slips a two page letter under my door that apologizes and goes on to say how messed up he is right now, blah, blah, blah. Whatever.

WHEN: June 2003       METHOD: in person

i had known this boy - lets call him A. - from my neighborhood - Red Hook which can be a little small sometimes - he was a cutie - we flirted a lot, i ended up running into him in the neighborhood a lot and we would hang out. Then he actually made a date with me. At this point i'm kind of hooked - we've had many amazing conversations, common interests etc. plus he's hot right? so, we have a great time and i finally take him back to my house which we walk to... stay in bed for like 16 hours talking and most everything else. it's kind of like pleasurable torture because we don't actually have sex but that's fine cause its fun... and sometimes kissing can be more of a turn on anyway. He finally tells me he can't be 'with' me because he has a girlfriend. long distance of course but it really sucked. So now i still see him all over the place and he still totally comes on to me but this girl is one smart cookie... i don't fall for any of his lines anymore so that's good at least.

WHEN: May 2003       METHOD: in person

G and I had been dating about 5 months when he started pulling these asinine stunts (like hanging out with other girls in date-like scenarios) and acting totally puerile. It was ridicuouls behavior, I tell you ... Well, after discussing for the Nth time how uncomfortable i was with his actions, he doesn't call me for three days, then arranges to take me to dinner. A few days later I meet him at his stupid favorite restaraunt, we fill our plates and before I take the first bite, he lays his fork down, starts getting teary eyed and says "i think we need to break up!" And I was like (dry eyed, of course): "Cool, good idea. Cause I don't like the way you've been acting. You've really been testing my patience over ridiculous things." So G starts BAWLING, right there in the restaraunt, to the point where tears are falling on his dinner and people are starting to stare. As he goes through the motions of why we'll never work, I'm getting more and more pissed because: A: my dinner was getting cold and B: who breaks up with someone over DINNER anyway!?!? the dumbass made it as uncomfortable as possible. but i think it hurt him more that i didn't shed a tear at all over the whole thing. So, after dinner (Yes, i finally told him to stop crying so that I could eat my food), we walked out and said our goodbyes and he goes: "can we still be friends?" The dumping was clearly a blessing in disguise cause the guy is a nutcase & needs to get his head examined (and to top it off, he had a huge ass). I just wish I dumped him first..sigh.

WHEN: May 2003       METHOD: in person

So the girl was 4 years my senior, a PHD to boot, and I was all over it. She made the move, I followed, and took her to all the right places- carnegie hall and paris. I fall for her easy, and we comense to DATE. After a weekend getaway at the Hamptons, she says I'm too YOUNG? Bitch, please. Plus she had a fat crib. Which she lost. Ha!

WHEN: April 2003       METHOD: in person

after months and months of fighting, my boyfriend had finally had enough of me. he dumped me in the union square subway station. i started following him and he told me to stop, so i went to the n/r platform and used a pay phone left several long and pathetic messages on his voice mail. it was also like 2:30 in the morning and i had to work the next day. it sucked.

WHEN: March 2003       METHOD: by email

Nina was a nerve.com date. She arrived half hour late for our first date, at Southpaw in Brooklyn. She said she was having a lousy day, but when I offered a raincheck she said she might as well go on because "she was already here." She sat me down and asked me "what's your deal. why are you single?" point blank. She was an agent, and one of her actors was performing that night, last in the lineup, so we had to stay till the end. I got drunk and we made out. Then we went back to her place. The next day, she said she was seeing someone else and he had "dibs" because she met him first.

WHEN: May 2003       METHOD: by email

Alexis asked me out via the Internet. She was cute, hip, and a scientist. We went on five dates, but each one seemed like a first date. She let me kiss her, but never really responded. Conversation was so-so. Oh, and on the second date, I met her dad. We had plans for Memorial Day, but she never called me, and didn't respond to my voicemail. Thank God for cell phones. The next day, I got an e-mail apologizing for blowing me off and saying "I needed to give myself a hall pass not to call" and "I don't want to be in a relationship right now."

WHEN: June 2003       METHOD: other

I met tattoo man on the nerve personals, we had a great couple of first dates, but i had my doubts about this guy. Number one, he went to bed at 9pm every night, secondly, he "shared" a dog with his ex, and lots of other stuff, like he sucked in bed and was a selfish lover. Meanwhile, the last time we saw each other, we got really really baked and had lousy sex. I left his house at 9pm, and drove my stoned ass home and called all my girlfriends, "I just don't know..I don't know.." So I was having these 2nd thoughts about dumping his ass, and then well, he didn't call me that Sunday like he was supposed to about dinner. I had cleaned my apt, shopped, and while i was kind of uncertain, I guess I wasn't. So the fucker doesn't call me, and I am just devistated because I wanted to be the disser, not the disssed. fucker.

WHEN: May 2003       METHOD: in person

I knew something was up for a week beforehand, but she wouldn't spill. Maybe it was eight days. Maybe nine. Actually...ten days. No, it was more like eight. Or seven days. Definitely fewer than fourteen, that I can tell you. But more than six. I sat down next to her at a party, her best friend got up, and she told me she no longer felt 'that way' about me. She did not elaborate specifically, but from her previous behavior I can gather that 'that way' meant 'not being able to stop fucking touching me for six weeks straight.' PS, I'm okay, thanks.